The last two deposits by Stephen Covey.
5.SHOWING PERSONAL INTEGRITY: Personal integrity generates trust and is the basis of many different kinds of deposits. Lack of integrity can undermine almost any other to create high trust accounts.People can seek to understand,remember the little things,keep their promises,clarify and fulfill expectations,and still fail to build reserves of trust if they are inwardly duplicitous. Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty.Honesty is telling the truth-in other words,conforming our words to reality.Integrity is conforming reality to our words.One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present.In doing so,we build the trust of those who are present.If i castigate our boss in your presence,then be sure i will discuss your weakness in your absence.That is what you and i did behind our boss's back.I will sweet-talk you to your face and bad-mouth you behind your back. On the other hand,suppose you were to start criticizing our boss and i basically told you i agree with the content of some of the criticism and suggest that the two of us go directly to him and say it to his face.Then you will be sure i wont allow any one condemn you behind your back. Confrontation takes considerable courage,and many people would prefer to take the course of least resistance,belittling and criticizing,betraying confidences,or participating in gossip about others behind their backs.But in the long run,people will trust and respect you if you are honest and open and kind with them.You care enough to confront. Integrity also means avoiding any communication that is deceptive,full of guile,or beneath the dignity of people."A lie is any communication with intent to deceive,"
6.APOLOGIZING SINCERELY WHEN YOU MAKE A WITHDRAWAL. When we make withdrawals from the Emotional Bank Account,we need to apologize and we need to do it sincerely.Great deposits come in the sincere words;"I was wrong", "I showed you no respect'',I embarrassed you in front of your friends and i had no call to do that.Even though i wanted to make a point,i never should have done it.I apologize." It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity.A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values to genuinely apologize. People with little internal security cant do it.It makes them too vulnerable.They feel it makes them appear soft and weak,and they fear that others will take advantage of their weakness.Their security is based on the opinions of other people,and they worry about what others might think.In addition,they usually feel justified in what they did. To be a deposit,an apology must be sincere.And it must be percieved as sincere. It is one thing to make a mistake,and quite another thing not to admit it.People will forgive mistakes,because mistakes are usually of the mind,mistakes of judgment.But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart,the ill intention,the bad motives,the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake. HAVE A NICE DAY.
5.SHOWING PERSONAL INTEGRITY: Personal integrity generates trust and is the basis of many different kinds of deposits. Lack of integrity can undermine almost any other to create high trust accounts.People can seek to understand,remember the little things,keep their promises,clarify and fulfill expectations,and still fail to build reserves of trust if they are inwardly duplicitous. Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty.Honesty is telling the truth-in other words,conforming our words to reality.Integrity is conforming reality to our words.One of the most important ways to manifest integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present.In doing so,we build the trust of those who are present.If i castigate our boss in your presence,then be sure i will discuss your weakness in your absence.That is what you and i did behind our boss's back.I will sweet-talk you to your face and bad-mouth you behind your back. On the other hand,suppose you were to start criticizing our boss and i basically told you i agree with the content of some of the criticism and suggest that the two of us go directly to him and say it to his face.Then you will be sure i wont allow any one condemn you behind your back. Confrontation takes considerable courage,and many people would prefer to take the course of least resistance,belittling and criticizing,betraying confidences,or participating in gossip about others behind their backs.But in the long run,people will trust and respect you if you are honest and open and kind with them.You care enough to confront. Integrity also means avoiding any communication that is deceptive,full of guile,or beneath the dignity of people."A lie is any communication with intent to deceive,"
6.APOLOGIZING SINCERELY WHEN YOU MAKE A WITHDRAWAL. When we make withdrawals from the Emotional Bank Account,we need to apologize and we need to do it sincerely.Great deposits come in the sincere words;"I was wrong", "I showed you no respect'',I embarrassed you in front of your friends and i had no call to do that.Even though i wanted to make a point,i never should have done it.I apologize." It takes a great deal of character strength to apologize quickly out of one's heart rather than out of pity.A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values to genuinely apologize. People with little internal security cant do it.It makes them too vulnerable.They feel it makes them appear soft and weak,and they fear that others will take advantage of their weakness.Their security is based on the opinions of other people,and they worry about what others might think.In addition,they usually feel justified in what they did. To be a deposit,an apology must be sincere.And it must be percieved as sincere. It is one thing to make a mistake,and quite another thing not to admit it.People will forgive mistakes,because mistakes are usually of the mind,mistakes of judgment.But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart,the ill intention,the bad motives,the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake. HAVE A NICE DAY.
No comments:
Post a Comment