THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT PT 5

Six major deposits according to stephen covey continues 3.KEEPING COMMITMENTS. Keeping a commitment or a promise is a major deposit;breaking one is a major withdrawal.In fact,there's probably not a massive withdrawal than to make a promise that's important to someone and then not to come through.The next time a promise is made,they wont believe it.People tend to build their hopes around promises,particularly promises about their basic livelihood.Please parent should adopt a philosophy never to make a promise they they wont keep.So try to make them very carefully,very sparingly,and be aware of as many variables and contingencies as possible so that something doesnt suddenly come up to keep you from fulfilling it.. Although,ther might be an occasion wherby despite all your effort,the unexpected happened,creating a situation where it would be unwise or impossible to keep a promise you have made.You either keep it anyway,or explain the situation thoroughly to the person involved and asked to be released from the promise. If you cultivate the habit of always keeping the promises you make,you build bridges of trust that span the gaps of understanding between you and your child.Then,when your child wants to do something you dont want him to do,and out of your maturity you can see the consequences that the child cannot see,you can say,''Son if you do this,i promise you that this will be the result."If that child has cultivated trust in your word,in your promises,he will act on your counsel. 4.CLARIFYING EXPECTATIONS: The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals.Whether we are dealing with the question of who does what at work,how you communicate with your son when you tell him to clean his room,or who washes the car,we can be certain that unclear expectations will lead to misunderstanding,disappointment,and withdrawals of trust. Many expectations are implicit.They haven't been explictly stated or announced,but people nevertheless bring them to a particular situation.In marriage,for example,a man and a woman have implicit expectations of each other in their marriage roles. Although these expectations have not been discussed,or sometimes even recognized by the person who has them,fulfilling them makes great deposits in the relationship and violating them makes withdrawals.That is why its so important whenever you come into a new situation to get all the expectations out on the table.People will begin to judge each other through those expectations.And if they feel like their basic expectations have been violated,the reserve of trust is diminshed.We create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people.The deposit is to make the expectation clear and explicit in the beginning.When expectations are not clear and shared,people begin to become emotionally involved and simple misunderstandings become compounded,turning into personality clashes and communication breakdowns. Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage